Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder...
Remember that old adage? Well, as I grow older and have a bit more time to ponder such things, I would agree heartily with the sentiment. My wife and I have a combined family of five children, eight grandchildren, and three great grandchildren. We now live in Tradition, Florida and our kids and their families are spread out far and wide across this great country. Our oldest son and family of four lives near San Diego, our middle son and family of four lives in Connecticut and our youngest son and family of four lives on the west coast of Florida (about three hours from us). Our oldest daughter and family of four lives on the east coast of Florida (approximately and hour and fifteen minutes away) and out youngest daughter and her husband lives (right now, they are an army family on the move) in Virginia, soon to be Kansas. We also have two grandkids in Florida nearby our youngest son and one grandchild in Connecticut near our second oldest son. My sister and her family lives in Vermont and Maine and my wife's sister and family lives in California.
There's the proverbial rub. It's impossible to see them all in a given year, at least for two educators who live mostly on social security and pensions. So, we keep in touch with text messages, cards, phone calls, gifts sent in the mail, fantasy football, and spend a good deal of time thinking about each of them. Seventy-five years ago, families pretty much stayed in their same 'neck of the woods', just like you see in The Falls community in my mystery series. Back then, most people earned money by doing whatever they could find and they often settled down and made it their life's work. Now days, with all the technology and instant availability to be anywhere at anytime, our sons and daughters go to where the best jobs are. Rightfully so. But, in any case, families are no longer living a few miles from each other. They're lucky if they live a few states from one another.
I would pull any punches. I miss being around our kids. Each one of them is. in their own ways, special. I miss having time to joke around and hang around with them. I miss their laughter, their teasing, their intelligence, their inner strength and their caring. I miss watching them grow older and better...I even miss noticing the gray hair and the extra pounds that inevitably come and I'm shocked to see when we visit. I miss watching them be around with their kids. They are all great parents, or will be someday. I would give anything to have a crystal ball and just watch them whenever I get a little wistful or have that insatiable urge to reconnect. I really miss family holidays at our house. I miss the gatherings where we all were part of a bigger whole. That was special, and I know it never will be the same again.
But I also know that just as my wife and I were in our thirties and forties (and starting into their fifties soon), our kids are working all hours of the day, taking their kids off to soccer and t-ball practice, keeping up their houses and busily carving out their own lives and traditions. I get it, I understand. But that doesn't mean that I have to like it. I'm six feet two and a good two hundred and thirty pounds, but in the end, I guess I'm a sentimental old Yankee Scotsman, who loves his kids, their kids and their kids. I would give anything to have us all together for a week. Family reunion style. I can close my eyes and envision all the laughing and squabbling and talking and camaraderie. All the love and remembering who we are and where we came from. Then it could all go back to the way it is. How perfect would that be?
So, does absence make your heart grow fonder?
May the dragons watch over you...
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