Saturday, December 28, 2013

New Years and Resolutions…
     I don't do New year's resolutions anymore, but there is something I do at the beginning of each new year. My dear wife says I view the world as a half-empty glass. That may very well be true. But I would prefer to think of it as thinking about what bad things can happen and then being prepared for them, but then again, we can paint rainbows and unicorns on anything.
      Anyway, at the beginning of each year I now look back and try and realistically gauge what I did well and what I need to do better. Understand, that's my own personal appraisal,  it may not be totally realistic. But then, you need to be happy with yourself if you want to make others happy. I look for little, attainable ways I can improve my writing and myself as a person. You have to understand, I don't make myself any promises and I don't make any lists. But I do have a long talk with myself and try and realistically look at the year ahead. I try and look at the parts of my writing career and my life that I feel are lacking or need enhancements. Unfortunately, there are always lots of those.
     Then, throughout the year, I sit myself down and revisit my conversation from time to time. I ask myself if I'm a little better than I was before, and I try not to tell myself little white lies. In all honesty, it works a good deal better for me than making a blanket resolution that might be unrealistic or undoable. I remember those days. Ugh! They were awful! Talk about downers! And if I did accomplish my goals I would be all worn out from the effort. 
     So, do you do anything on the eve of the New Year to look ahead? If you do, good luck and may the dragons watch over you...

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

This is simple…
     This isn't the time for long winded diatribes, pontificating monologues or nitpicking exposes. This is the time for a simple, heartfelt message from me to all of you. Have the merriest of Christmases. Touch the ones you love and tell them how much they mean to you and why. Gather as many hugs, laughs, moments and joyful tears as possible and spend time with the people in your life that make it worth living. Really listen to what your loved ones have to say. Create memories that will last a lifetime. Reach out and touch those that are far away. Make sure they know that they are there with you in spirit.                         And last, but not least, be kind to yourself, and realize that you make a difference. As it was said so eloquently many years ago...Merry Christmas to all…and to all a good night...

Friday, December 20, 2013

Ornaments…
     When I look at Christmas trees, my first thoughts are all about the ornaments that adorn it. There are as many different types of ornaments as there are snowflakes. They run the gamut of color, hue, shiny to dull, glitzy sparkles to sheer smoothness.
     There are the homemade ones, such as the 'I made it for mommy in school' and 'look what grandma and I made to put on our tree' ones. Then there are are the elegant and beautiful ones. The cut glass and crystal ones, brass, shining metal and intricate ornaments. There are the ornaments that are shaped like angels, hummingbirds, dragons (yes I have a couple), doves, butterflies, pixies, elves, and unicorns. There are the religious symbols and the ornaments that proclaim a wedding, a birth, or a lasting friendship.
     There are the ornaments from days gone by, ones kept lovingly, handed down from ancestors and friends in the long ago past. There are the handmade ones from children, grandchildren and even great grandchildren, and the ones that are so fragile that you simply hold your breath and hope they'll last just one more year. 
     There are the ones that we buy new when we go to special places, ones that remind us of where we've been and what fun and delights we've experienced. There are the ones that no one can remember where they came from originally, but we keep anyway because we don't want to either offend someone or realize after getting rid of them that they did, indeed, have a special significance.
     There are ornaments that speak to our eyes, our memories, our emotions and our hearts. There are ornaments that carry the memory of a tear, or a laugh or a warm hug every time we see them. And no matter how old we get, when we see those special ornaments we feel like a kid again.
     So when I look at Christmas trees, my mind goes into overdrive, trying to seek out the homeliest ornament, the newest one, the unique ones and then I try and imagine where they came from, why they are hung there and what memories they must carry. I never look at the most beautiful, most elegant ones first, although they may have equally inspiring and touching stories at times. But I tend to look at the ones that you might think didn't belong on such a beautiful tree. Those are the stories that truly interest and inspire me.
     So, tell me true, when I go into your home, what Christmas ornaments will I see that makes the writer and the romantic dragon rider inside me sit up and take notice? Which ornaments will bring me a tale worth telling? Which ornaments will tell the story of your life and those around you? Which ornament will weave a story?
     May the dragons watch over you...

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Decorating the Tree…
     Today, after writing this post and my daily chapter in The Falls: Thanksgiving, I will go downstairs, get out the myriad of boxes and decorate the tree. For me, it is a unique and highly anticipated time filled with memories, Christmas music and the growing holiday spirit. Most times, in the last few decades, it has been a solitary event. My wife enjoys setting up the little Christmas trees, preparing the wreaths for me to place outside all the windows, creating amazing Christmas table creations, setting up the nativity sets, expertly shopping for gifts and then exquisitely wrapping them. I do some of those things as well of course, but by and large she is the person responsible for organizing the magical and beautiful Christmas production around the house and mailing out the packages to all parts of the country. She is amazing and much too good for the likes of me.
     But the setting up our ten foot tree and decorating it are more often than not, uniquely mine. As I labored mightily to set the tree up yesterday afternoon, it reminded me of years, and generations past. Trekking out into the woods of Vermont with a sled and ax to select, cut and bring home that special tree. Going to the tree vendors later on and selecting the very best one as the snow fell. I remember the hot chocolate, a roaring fire and Christmas carols as we set it up and decorated. I remember going with my father as a child to get a tree. It was almost a religious experience. Maybe it really was that and more.
     Today, as I place the decorations on the tree a lot of them will bring back memories. Ornaments our kids gave us, granddaughter's first Christmas ornaments, babies first Christmas, ornaments from long past and the near pst that have special meanings. Our tree ornaments are basically made out of only glass, crystal, white, and brass. There are exceptions however, a few ornaments that mean the world to us tucked in among the dazzling, gleaming and exquisitely beautiful ones. We have a beautiful ten foot tree with a thousand white lights and an angel topper from long ago. As I place the ornaments on it, my thoughts will reach out and touch individually and collectively, our five children, our eight grandchildren, and our three great grandchildren. They will also reach out to my grandparents, my sister and her wonderful family, and my own mother and father. There is an ornament from my wife's parents as well.
     I will take time to remember and honor them all as I place the ornaments on the tree, a process that takes well over two hours. The memories, the tugs at my heart, the smiles, and yes, the joyous tear or two they bring will be well worth the time. I believe strongly in traditions. And trimming the Christmas tree is one of my most time honored traditions. A tradition of giving thanks, entering days gone by, and reaching out across the miles to mentally hug and value the dear loved ones in our life. 
     Then, each time we light the tree, which is often, I will feel the love and warmth and joy from all those ornaments, all those memories, all those loved ones, past, present and perhaps even future. I readily admit to wondering what Christmas will be like for all our kids and grandkids in the years and decades to come. 
     Christmas is time for giving…but it's also the time to remember and receive the love and memories of days past…of loved ones across the miles. So this year, as you decorate your tree, place the wreaths, and set up your cherished Christmas memorabilia all over the house…take time to remember and to smile and feel the love of Christmas past, Christmas present and Christmas future.
     May the dragons watch over you all and bring you the joys of the Christmas season...

Monday, December 9, 2013

The Greatest Gift…
     The greatest gift doesn't come from a department store, a big box warehouse or an online boutique.  It doesn't cost an exorbitant amount of money, come with a huge red bow on top or bankrupt your credit card. The greatest gift of all is time. Time you decide to spend with the people who are nearest and dearest to you.
     Time spent in laughter, quiet conversation, over a meal, during a walk, at home on the couch, playing a video game or spent together watching an old movie. Time spent with smiles, with tears of joy, with comfortable silences and listening as much as talking. Time where your heart can touch theirs without electronic devices such as smart phones, tweets or FB to get in the way. Time spent so that loved one, that friend, really and truly knows you enjoy being with them. Time to listen about their life, tell them about yours, time to discuss dreams and fears, and time to tell them how special you think they are and why.
     Time is the most precious gift. Because, sooner or later, there is no more of it. Time in finite. Time is elusive. The world turns and takes time away from us without our really realizing it. Once people are gone, there is no getting them back so you can spend the time you wish you had with them. Don't wait. Don't put it off. Reach out, touch the ones you care most about with your heart, your love and your words. It may be hard at first, but you'll be glad you did.
     This holiday season give the gift that people will remember for the rest of their lives. Give yourself and the time to be with them. Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas and share the wonderful person you really are with the ones you love best.
     May the dragons watch over you...

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Revenge…
     She moved automatically, instinctively through her day, unaware of the world swirling around her. The unrelenting ache deep down in her heart and soul made everything she did infinitely harder. Her children would sometimes stop their play and simply stare at her, bewildered, wondering where their old loving mom had gone. She hardly paid any attention to them since, well, since IT had happened. Then they would slowly turn and quietly go back to what they were doing, making sure she didn't know they had been watching. Because if they asked her about IT or if she thought they were questioning her in any way, the darkness and anger would creep into her eyes and, afraid of her response, they would draw back from her and quickly run outside.
     Her husband didn't ask her anymore what was wrong. He could sense it, he could see it and he could almost taste it. But he no longer asked. The cost was far too steep. So he took care of the children, he went to work and he tried his best to watch over the woman who used to be his wife. Now, he didn't know what she was. But whatever she was, she was no longer the kind, sweet woman he married.
     When she went to work, she put on a mask, a smile and a caring countenance designed to fool everyone around her, and determinedly pushed her way through her shift. Then, she could once more come home and lose herself in her regret, remorse and everlasting sorrow. All the while, she thought of him. CR Shanks, the private investigator who had caused the life-changing tragedy in her life. 
     Every waking moment she raged silently at the man. She wept hot, angry tears and schemed how she could get even. How she could get her well deserved revenge. For there was no question in her mind, she would get retribution. For him. For the one she had lost. And if she was brutally honest with herself, for her as well. For what she had lost. She would get her revenge. 

Monday, December 2, 2013

Holiday Memories…
     As December begins to pick up steam, bells ring out in the cold, and Christmas and New Year lie bright and shimmering ahead, I can't help but think back to memories of the past. As with Scrooge's spirits, those memories come, for me, in three very different apparitions: Long Past, Children's Past, and the Recent Past. 
     The long ago past, when I was a child, seem little more than fuzzy black and white photos that your grandmother had in a chest up in the attic. Moments at my grandmother's, and at the houses we lived in as I was growing up. A yellowed snapshot here and there, a special moment remembered…and all with the disclaimer that I may be remembering things the way I want to remember them, not necessarily the way they really were.
     Then come the busy, invigorating years when our children were young. The years when we had more joy and energy than money. Mostly I see those years through their eyes, or here again, maybe the way I believe they saw them. I wanted them all to love and cherish those times, those traditions. I wish that I could go back and make them even more special, but then, don't we all. Those moments were mostly at our house, or on the slopes at the country club, family dinners at our house and my sister's house, her fish chowder Christmas Eve, brightly decorated Christmas trees, Nativity scenes, wrapping presents, laughter and good cheer. Reading the Night Before Christmas, hot chocolate after snow ball fights and sledding. Popcorn and watching the holiday favorites. Our house was the "hub" that the holiday revolved around during those times.
     Finally comes the recent past. Celebrations at our various children's houses. Different years, different houses. Our eyes widening at the mounds of presents our wonderful grandchildren get. Thankful to be a part of the gathering, but realizing that we are no longer the "hub". We are peripheral, although definately loved and cared about. That's a hard realization, especially at this joyous time of year.
     Now, as we get our house around for Christmas, my wife and I will make it all look very festive and beautiful, perhaps nicer than we ever had money or time for before when we had children at home. But we also know that no one in our family will probably ever see it this year. We will go to Christmas Eve and morning at one of our sons's and Christmas afternoon at one of our daughter's. Then we'll come back late and go to bed. So as we light the tree, hang the wreaths and put up the stockings, we do it for ourselves and for the memories of Christmas past. Not a sad realization, but a thoughtful one. We will make our own holiday memories and honor the traditions.
     What are your Christmas memories?
     May the dragons watch over you...